You’re deep in wedding planning and you’ve figured out the date you’re getting married (yay!!) and the location (double yay!!). Now it’s time to send Save the Date cards to your guests. Or is it? I’ll discuss all of the basics, etiquette, when you should mail cards, and whether you even should send a card at all!
Related: Wedding Stationery Timeline
So.. What is a Save the Date?
Save the Date cards are mailed out so your guests can start planning ahead. It’s a heads-up so they can block off that time on their calendar and make sure they don’t book anything else if they plan on attending your wedding. It’s especially important if you are having a destination wedding or a wedding weekend. Also, another reason to send a Save the Date is if you are getting married during a busy holiday weekend or in a popular vacation town. It’s just a nice courtesy to your guests.
What to include on a Save the Date
A Save the Date can be a very simple card. The only 3 things you absolutely need are your names, the date(s) of your wedding, and the city. You don’t even need to know or tell your guests your venue yet, though you should be 100% sure your wedding will take place in that city.
This is also a great opportunity to include your wedding website. The wedding website is where you will go into much more in-depth info for your guests so you can keep all of the other Save the Date stationery brief and aesthetically pleasing.
You can choose to have a card with just words on it, or you can put a gorgeous picture of you and your partner. If you had an engagement shoot, this is an awesome place to include your wedding picture. Or if you choose, you can start hinting to guests about your wedding theme and/or colors if you already know them.
What a Save the Date is *NOT*
A Save the Date card is not an invitation. It does not have to include a ton of information like who is hosting the wedding, or the time of the ceremony. Keep it brief. The only extra thing you may want to add at the bottom is something saying that a formal invitation will follow. That’s all! You also don’t want to use this as an engagement announcement. Therefore, you don’t want to send this to people who are not invited to the wedding, but we’ll get to that below.
Save the Date Etiquette
Who receives a card? Basically, anybody you want attending your wedding. Even if you know for a fact they will be there, you still want to send them a card.
Should we include an RSVP card? I say no. It’s not customary. Also, it’s too early for that. Guests’ plans may change and you also don’t want to be putting them under pressure to decide so long before the wedding. Plus, that’s one area you can save money on.
Do we put registry/gift information on the card? It’s always a no-no to include this on an invitation or Save the Date card. For a Save the Date, including the website link is enough. They can head over to your wedding website and get all of that information there.
Who should it be addressed to? You want to address the card to every person who is invited. So if you are inviting the entire family, you can write “The Smith Family” or “The Smiths”. If you are only planning on inviting the parents, and not the children, you would want to address it to them. Ex.: Mr. and Mrs. Louis Smith.
This also goes along with the whole reason you are sending a card in the first place. You are trying to give your guests ample time to plan and get their ducks (or babysitters/dogsitters) in a row.
How formal should we go? A Save the Date is not as formal as a wedding invitation so you can definitely be more playful and fun with it. Not that you can’t be playful with an invitation if that’s yours and your partners’ personalities but it’s just what is recommended.
When should I mail Save the Date cards?
Save the Dates usually go out around 6-9 months before the wedding. Sooner if you are planning on a destination wedding or if your wedding will take place during a busy holiday weekend.
Do I even need to send a Save the Date at all?
Listen, it’s YOUR wedding; nobody else’s! So, all of these decisions are up to you as a couple. But, it is customary and considerate to your guests to send one. If you are concerned about the environmental impact of sending more paper in the mail, you could always opt for digital Save the Dates although I’m a sucker for receiving snail mail. You can’t blame me! But there ARE options for eco-friendly papers out there. You could also send a postcard Save the Date as opposed to mailing a card with an envelope.
At the end of the day, what you do when it comes to anything related to your wedding should reflect who you both are as a couple but it IS nice to keep some bit of etiquette in mind. I want to arm you with knowledge so you can then pick what feels right for you two.
