So you just got engaged, now what? First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is such an amazing time in your life and I’m so excited for you two! But I know, you’re here because you need some help figuring out which direction to go. I remember after the initial excitement of having that ring on my finger and telling all of my family, I thought “Ummm now what? What do I do first?” Well, I’m here to help you. I have a list of the first 10 things you should do right after getting engaged.
First things first: Cherish this moment together.
You are about to marry the love of your life! Take a week or two to just BE together. You may have been waiting all your life for this moment and it’s finally here. Enjoy each other and the time you have before things get hectic. And boy oh boy, will they get hectic!
Number 2: Set aside an hour to discuss your vision for your wedding.
You and your partner need to be on the same page and it’s so important to talk to each other during this time. Discuss things like: Will it be a formal wedding? A big ol’ party, or will it be more of an intimate occasion? Will it take place at your hometown church or have you always dreamed of a destination wedding in Positano? This is when you want to merge your dreams and your realities into that one special day. No pressure, right? This is why you really want to take some time with no outside interference and decide what the TWO of you want.
Number 3: Figure out your budget.
Bleh I know, talking money sucks, but it’s CRUCIAL to do this step. Not only will it help prevent arguments between you as a couple and within your family, but it also determines everything you do with regards to the wedding. Time of year, venue, wedding size, wedding party size, stationery, flowers, food, entertainment, etc. Do not skip this step! If you need help setting a budget, Here Comes the Guide has a great blog post on it.
Number 4: Decide if you want to hire a wedding planner.
If you do, hire them now! A planner can help you with so many decisions and they can also help to point you in the right direction. They know and can recommend other vendors, help with timeline, and many other things. They may not be in your budget, but you’ll be able to tell because you didn’t skip step number 3 riiiiiight?
Number 5: Decide on the date.
This is pivotal. It may be an obvious step but deciding on your wedding date is not just about figuring out what time of the year you think is the prettiest or has the best weather. Just like figuring out your budget, the time of year will also determine soooo much about your wedding. It will help you pick a venue, whether you want an outdoor or indoor wedding, the flowers, the color palette, maybe even the food if you decide to have a seasonal menu. Also, this will determine your wedding timeline. Once you know your wedding date, you’ll know when to send your Save the Dates, when to book the venue, caterer, etc. The season also dictates how booked up and expensive vendors and your venue will be.
Number 6: Next, pick your venue.
Ah… that gorgeous wedding venue you’ve been dreaming about. Now that you know your budget, the wedding date (or at least the time of year), and your wedding vision, you’re ready to start looking at wedding venues. My now-husband and I had plans to go look at sooo many venues because it’s just like, THE BEST to be shown around these beautiful places, but we actually picked the first one we went to because we just *KNEW* it was right. But you don’t have to do that! Take your time with this one. You need the place where you are getting married to be perfect! Think about where it is in terms of how easy it is for your guests to get there. Are there accommodations nearby? Or are you thinking of a destination wedding? Much like the wedding date, the venue determines how formal your wedding will be, the vibe of the wedding, how many guests you can invite, etc.
Number 7: Start pinning!
This is when you get to start using Pinterest! It’s SO fun but it can get pretty overwhelming. Try to remember the vision you and your partner discussed while also keeping the budget and time of year in mind. You don’t want to get sidetracked and start pinning everything under the sun. Keep things organized by creating boards and pinning specific images and blog posts to those boards. You can also make any board secret in case you want your guests to be surprised, like for your wedding dress or color palette, for example. If you are in a blog like you right now, just click the little red circle on the top left of an image in the page.
Number 8: Start gathering addresses.
As a stationer, I must say, this is a very important step. You don’t want to be scrambling last minute for addresses when you know those invitations have to go out STAT! If you are using a stationer, they will most likely provide you with a template where you can input all of your guests’ addresses. This will be helpful not just with mailing invitations, but also when it comes to creating a seating chart (or escort/place cards), and even when sending thank you cards. And a bonus: now you have these addresses saved for future reference so you can easily find your great aunt’s address and can send her a nice little holiday card.
Number 9: Hire a stationer.
DUH! You didn’t think I was going to leave this out, did you? If it’s in your budget, hiring a stationer can really set the tone for your wedding. Especially if you have someone who can create artwork that is completely and 100% tailored to you. The sky is the limit when it comes to wedding stationery. You can have a painting of your venue as your envelope liner, a map with a line drawing of your venue and all of the locations nearby, or even a crest with elements all designed with you and your love story in mind. Not only is it a fun process, but you also get to keep these pieces forever!
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Number 10: Create your guest list.
Oooooh boy. This is where the rubber meets the road. Isn’t that a weird saying? What does that even mean? If you’re driving a car, isn’t the rubber always on the road? Hmm.. AAANYWAY. Your guest list. This may take you some time and it might involve a lot of hair pulling, but let’s try to remember that this day is about YOU TWO and nobody else. I know that’s easier said than done but try to stick to your guns as much as possible (another weird saying). You’ll need a lot of time set aside to do this, and I actually recommend doing this task over a few days so you don’t get too overwhelmed. You also may need to get your parents involved so that’s a whole other thing! Whatever you do, try not to let it ruin such a special time in your lives. Think about all of the fun you’ll have with the people there. Whether they will truly be a joy to have or just whether they will provide a fun story to tell later in life.
Well, there you have it. I hope you have found this helpful and insightful.
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